Q&A: Filling Your Cup Without Guilt
In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson follows up on last week’s conversation with Dr. Joanna Kim about parental self-care and the invisible labor of raising kids. He answers listener questions about guilt, exhaustion, and how to make “filling your cup” realistic in a normal week.
In this episode, we cover:
- “How do I help friends who feel guilty taking time away from their kids?” Reframe from quantity to quality time. Try a one-week experiment: take a little time back, then notice what changes (energy, patience, connection).
- “I’m a chronic yes-person. What do I say no to?” Sort non-negotiables, want-to-dos, and energy drains. Practice saying "no" for a short window (a few days), then decide what boundaries should stick.
- “I get homework from my child’s therapist and forget. I feel like I’m failing.” You’re not failing. Your therapist wants honesty. Build a simple system for tracking and prioritizing, then accept that some tasks won’t happen every week.
- “I have no time. Work, dinner, bedtime, repeat. What can I do?” Start by naming what actually calms you (food/drink, movement, sleep, connection, faith/spiritual practices, quiet). Then look for small pockets to repeat, not a perfect routine.
- “Any clever tricks to get a break without my kids interrupting?” Tricks can work in the short term, but the long-term goal is modeling normal boundaries: “I’m taking 20 minutes. I’ll be back at ___.”
Key takeaways:
- “Self-care” doesn’t require money or big blocks of time.
- Start with minutes, then build.
- Your goal isn’t more time with your kids — it’s better time with your kids.
- Boundaries often matter as much as adding new habits.
- If you’re working with a therapist/coach, missed homework is useful info — it helps you set a plan that fits your real week.
Creators and Guests
Host
Dave Anderson
Dave Anderson, PhD, is the Vice-President of Public Engagement and Education and a senior psychologist in the ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. Dr. Anderson focuses on the expansion of our awareness-building and prevention programs while also leading initiatives that build the Child Mind Institute brand, foster strategic partnerships, and forge new relationships with policy makers and youth mental health leaders.
Producer
Andrew Dearling
Andrew Dearling is the Digital Director at the Child Mind Institute, where he leads strategy and execution across web, email, social media, and digital campaigns. He focuses on using digital tools to connect more families with mental health resources, expand the organization’s reach, and drive measurable impact. Andrew combines deep expertise in content, platforms, and performance marketing with a clear understanding of how to reach people where they are, and move them to take action.
Producer
Chad Garber
Chad Garber, a seasoned Creative Producer with over 15 years of experience, shapes branded video, digital, and experiential content for Fortune 100 companies, agencies, and in-house teams to Child Mind Institute. Known for building high-performing creative operations, he led pro-bono productions to multimillion-dollar campaigns for brands like Verizon, Microsoft, New Balance, Budweiser, and FedEx. His sharp storytelling, deep production expertise, and collaborative leadership move ideas from concept to screen with impact.
